I love the start of a new year. I love the ability to reset, wipe the slate clean, and feel that you can start over and accomplish anything you set your mind to. 2014 was an interesting year. If I had to use one word to describe the year it would be wandering. Lesson #1 from this year: wandering is NOT a bad thing; there’s a phase for everything in life. I love the J.R.R. Tolkien quote:
No two years are alike and I don’t think you can compare one year to the next. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. Now I’m not saying that I haven’t compared 2013 to 2014 and felt that 2014 is completely inadequate to all that I accomplished in 2013. But every time I start to make the comparison I remind myself each year is a journey and the purpose of each year is to ride the journey where it takes you. A year isn’t one big checklist of things to accomplish (although I have my bucket list and long list of life goals I want to accomplish).
2013 was a fabulous checklists and series life goal accomplishments. I visited 2 new states, went to Indonesia, ran a marathon, became a vegetarian, and a lot more. But I was miserable the last few months of 2013. I cried at work almost every day.
2014 started right where 2013 ended. Work was awful, and I committed the cardinal sin of public accounting. I left during the middle of busy season, 4 months right before I was scheduled to be promoted. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. What I learned from that decision is that sometimes you have to cut your losses. Sometimes we think we have invested so much into a situation, relationship, job, etc, that we can’t leave. Well in accounting we call those sunk costs. You’re never going to recuperate those costs, they’re gone for good.
Finding a new job completely changed my world. I stopped waking up in the middle of the night to read and respond to emails on my phone. I stopped lugging my computer back and forth to work, working ridiculous hours, and crying in the bathroom at work.
I had time to reconnect with a friend who I could count on one hand the number of times we saw each other in 2013. I went to run club after work, spent a week at the beach without taking my work computer. I got up at 5am to go take sunrise pictures multiple times. I drove all over the triangle to try out different brunch spots. (I also learned to eat brunch alone, which is something I NEVER would have done in 2013).
I took the plunge and bought the car of my dreams. #YOLO I love that car more than someone should love a car. Her name is Baby in that “Nobody makes baby sleep outside.” Could I have gotten a more practical car? Absolutely, the only purpose of a car is to get you to and from a destination, but life’s short. Ya got to live a little.
Am I where I thought I would be at my age, at the end of 2014? The answer is no. Let me rephrase that, hell no. Is that a bad thing? Nope. Lesson #2 from 2014: I am exactly where I am suppose to be at this moment in time.
I don’t always understand or appreciate the events that happen in my life that put me where I am at. I question why certain things happen, get angry, sad, and look up to the sky and scream WHY!? But I fully believe there is some kind of plan.
Most of all, especially the last 4 months of the year, I’ve grown in ways I never thought I would. I’ve always thought I’m was an open minded person. But if I was being honest with myself, especially when it comes to dating, I was being too picky. My laundry list of must haves was a tad long. But after I was quickly judged by someone else, I found just how important it is to be open minded and throw out that list. Now I’m not saying I don’t have standards or that I don’t trust my gut if someone gives me a bad feeling, but I’ve resolved to the fact that the next person I date is not going to be the person I end up with. Lesson #3 from 2014: Stop over analyzing shit.
I use to think every decision in life was crucial. That there was an absolute right or wrong answer to everything. I would make a pro/con list for everything. Agonize over the smallest details and try to envision how it would affect 5 moves down the road (kinda like a chess game). But living life like that isn’t very fun. For the last month I finally feel that I am living life as a journey, instead of some destination I’m trying to reach.
As 2014 comes to a close, I can’t help but have a hopeful outlook for 2015. I am looking forward to another family vacation, the birth of my best friend’s first child, enjoying the first 2.5 months of the year without a busy season, and all of the unplanned stuff that comes up. Here’s to 2014, a year of blessings in disguise. I hope you have a safe and happy New Year!