Cause I know what I want

Cause I know what I want

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2017 – It’s been a wild ride so far. I’ve struggled figuring out how to write this post. It’s been almost an entire month since I last blogged. So much has happened. I want to talk about it all; the ups and the downs. I just don’t know where to start…

I don’t think I could have packed another thing into this month if I tried. There’s been lots of travel, lots of activity with the Etsy shop, and lots of new perspective on life. This month has been filled with exciting things, and not so good things. Both have taught me a lot. This year I’ve started a jar of 52 good things. Each week I pick out one good thing that happened and write it down. At the end of the year, I’ll have a collection of things to look back on. Every week might not be 100% great, but there should be something good in every week.

Living on Saltwater - 52 Good Things

This month I went to Houston and Seattle. I love to travel, to explore new places. Washington State is #18 on my quest to visit all 50 states. We got to ride the Ferris wheel near Pike’s Place Market. As much as I love to travel, I also love coming home. My travel quota is filled right now. I am very content being at home. Luckily I have 3 weeks until my next adventure; 2017 is most definitely going to be the year of travel.

Living on Saltwater - Seattle Ferris Wheel

My Etsy shop has really taken off this month. I’ve had 3 custom orders. It’s hard to keep up as one person. I’m still learning how to ship things and each custom order requires start up work to get everything configured correctly. Since I’m just starting out, I am saying “yes” to a lot of things and I’ve pushed myself to under promise and over deliver. I know my work ethic on these is not sustainable. I spent the entire week before traveling to Seattle working until midnight, after getting home from my day job, trying to get 2 orders out before my trip. I told my Mom, “Good thing I don’t have a life this week!” I know I need to find balance. I have realized this rather quickly, I hope. And I am trying to follow through with finding balance. While I was in Seattle, another custom order request came through. As soon as I landed at the airport, I went to the gym and then to Lowes to get the necessary supplies. But I need some time to veg. And so I sit here on the couch catching up on all of my recorded shows from the last 2 weeks as I write this post, instead. I have 2 weeks to complete this order. After the past 2 weeks, I just need a day to keep me sane.

I’m really excited by the activity in the shop this past month. I am truly humbled with every custom order that comes through. We are our own biggest critic. There are times when I am fully confident in what I am doing, that it’s unique, and creative, and something that people want. Other times, I think WTF am I doing? Those WTF moments don’t stop me. I think it’s not a bad thing to have those moments that give you a reality check. I’m excited to see what’s in store for this shop! Here are some of my designs from this month. If you want to keep up to date on all that is going on with my Etsy shop, follow me on Instagram @livingonsaltwater

Living on Saltwater - Etsy Shop NC Flag

Living on Saltwater - Etsy Shop Chicago Flag

Living on Saltwater - Etsy Shop NY Home

On a more personal note, this month has offered me a lot of perspective on life. It has reinforced that life is short. We think we have all this time to put things off and wait to go after what we want. That isn’t the case. We’re never going to be as young as we are in this moment. We can’t get back wasted time. There’s always a trade-off. Only you can decide if something is worth it or not.

I read an article from Thought Catalog earlier this month, you can find it here. It was an unemotional explanation on the author’s exit from participating in modern day dating. I think it’s applicable to multiple parts of life. To be honest it is exactly how I feel about dating at the moment. He says “I’m done…I haven’t given up on the journey to love, but I’m definitely pulling over to the side of the road and taking a long nap.” I am on the side of the road at the moment.

I wrote about in my first post for the year that I was off online dating. I haven’t missed it. I honestly don’t know where I would have found the time for it this month. The whole online dating thing, the swiping left and the swiping right, the meaningless half-assed conversations were wasting precious time. The trade-off wasn’t worth it.

What resonated the most with me, from that article, was the line that said: “What used to be a mutual display of interest and open communication has become a game of emotional chicken, where caring and consideration have been replaced by leverage and deception.” It has become a game of emotional chicken, and I don’t want to participate in the game. I hold my cards close. I’ve been burned a lot. But when I do take the chance and lay them down, it’s 100%. It’s not a trick and I’m not about to just pick them right back up. When I know what I want I go after it; I don’t know how to sit back and hope things will come together. It’s what makes me a good employee, a good business owner, and a good friend…..

Speaking of good friends, this weekend I finished reading a book that was sent to me by a friend. I can, and I will, write an entirely separate post dedicated to this book. It was just what I needed to start off this year. I needed some faith and some extra motivation to kick me in the pants and give me that nudge that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Because even though “I know what I want,” I will second guess myself more than I’d like to admit. The book is titled “You are a badass.” You should check it out.

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