Every Little Thing

Living on Saltwater - Unanswered Prayers

I’ve been thinking a lot lately why certain things happen and why certain things don’t happen. I think “WTF!?” a lot. I can’t wrap my mind around how sometimes things just fall into place, over and over again in one particular area and in other areas it’s like trying to put 2 north ends of magnets together. I love the quote in the picture above because I am both in a state of “wonderful” and in a state of “when am I going to see things happen.”

I can get on board that there is some master plan and that I’m definitely not privy to any of the details. That part sucks the most. I’m not a patient person. But, I know that I am where I am meant to be and who I am meant to be. I’m not ungrateful for the good things that have aligned….

I’ve always wanted to own my own business. If you asked me what I wanted to do when I was a kid, I would have answered, “own a coffee shop!” Along the way I thought about marine biology, interior design, and architecture, but having my own business was always my “big girl” dream……

As a kid I was also really into taking pictures and making stuff. I remember my mom gave me a camera and I “took” lots of pictures. I asked her over and over, “when do we need to go take the film to be developed?” She always said I hadn’t finished the roll of film…. (she didn’t put any film in it and I was pretty upset when I FINALLY discovered the truth). I was also constantly coming up with stuff for my dad or granddaddy to build. I designed this carrying storage case for all my American Girl doll dresses and helped my dad when he built it for me. I never would have thought that these things were truly my passion and that I would one day combine them into something more than this blog. When I second guess myself about what I’m doing, I think back to these memories. I know that you can’t make these things up at 7 years old. You like what you like.

It took me a little over 2 years to take the plunge and start my Etsy shop. In July of 2014, I mapped everything out. I did all my research, cost accounting, etc. I don’t know why I didn’t follow through with it then, and why I finally did last fall. Fear was probably a big factor. Fear of putting something out there that I truly loved and dreamed of doing. I was also fearful of being “unqualified.” I have difficulty calling myself a photographer or carpenter (it took me running a marathon to finally say “I’m a runner.”) I have no formal training in these areas. I went to school to be an accountant; I’m a CPA and I crunch numbers in excel all day. This business has nothing to do with anything on my resume….which is probably why I love this stuff in the first place. My side gig is completely different than my day job.

I was reading You Are a Badass and it talked about being “unqualified” / thinking you’re “unqualified.” The author says “Because so often when we say we’re unqualified for something, what we’re really saying is that we’re too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it.” It doesn’t help that I’m also a perfectionist and as a perfectionist it is in my nature to not attempt something if I think I’m going to fail (although I am much better about going after stuff I’m uncertain about than I use to be.)

But now that I’ve FINALLY taken the leap and actually started this dream, everything has fallen into place. My goal was to get my stuff organized and ready by the end of January so that I could apply for a handmade/art popup market that would be held in the Triangle in March. I wanted to get some inventory of things other than photos. My goal was inventory and since the beginning of January I am having trouble keeping inventory and keeping up with requests for custom orders. It’s a good problem to have. Every time I finish with a custom order the universe sends me another. I am not complaining. I’m just amazed at how so many things with this business have fallen into place with little effort….I say with little effort but I’ve really worked my ass off this past month. I guess what I mean is that I never had to ask for this business to be successful, it just happened. And I ugly cry almost every time a notification pops up on my phone that I have a new order.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I have difficulty wrapping my mind around how all these things have fallen into place but other things I’ve worked on for almost 4 years haven’t come together. I don’t want to come off ungrateful. I’m not. I find comfort in the fact that all of my interest from various stages of life have tied together to form this really awesome adventure. It’s too “coincidental.” I know that this is where I am supposed to be. Doesn’t mean that I can’t always want more from life…….

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